Being Me

Hello!~ How have you been during the last whole week? ;D

I don't get it why, actually it is kinda hard for me to think what to write on this post. I got many stuff to say, just that i don't know which one should come first..or even not to come out from here. :(  But, one thing I seriously need to be quick making up my mind and don't care about whoever that don't support me, which is change course and college. sigh.

I always asked myself during these days, am I being too selfish for not considering about my parents' financial problem and their desire for wanting me to quickly graduate,come out from my college life and start to earn money for them? T.T 

Let says, what if, the course I'm studying now is not what i hope or want to do in my future career. I've been to quantity survey industrial training last few months ago and I really find it boring to me. I know what I want now if I take it to compare with last time when I was still hesitate whether myself can study Interior Design courses or not. To most of my family and friends who know me,  I might seems weak for taking this course I belief, but actually this is really what i want to have in my life. To be a Designer ;)  I might really seems weak in art, in drawing, it's just because I don't have the confident to draw out a simple nice piece of art since i was in kindergarten. I still can recall back when I was five, I found out my drawing was ugly and I rubbed it off and in the end I asked my dad to help me draw it all over again for me. I like art, but I think possibly just lack of guidance, assurance and confident D: 

Okay, if you give me an opportunity to choose and have a talent and a desire job, I'll still choose good in art as my talent and become a designer as my desire job. And this is the point I found me.. I have all these in my deep deep heart inside just that I think I need more motivation and may be some inspiration to drive me toward them. I have a great dreams you see, I wish I can become an interior designer which can also help out my future husband in his work as in maybe we both own a company? Maybe it sounds funny to you, but to me, it's a great dream which I hope to own it. I'm gonna tell myself that, I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday :)

 

On the other hand, I'll think that it might be a good decision for me to change my course also since my boyfie will be going to pursues his further studies in Melbourne next coming years, though I knew I'll miss him damn much till myself also couldn't imagine it, still, I'll have to let him go, for his future good. And the maybe-good point is by that time we both are still a student, still studying in the same time. We can still remain on the almost same pathway. This is the one thing that at least makes me feel better, i guess. 



"Motivation is the fuel, necessary to keep the human engine running."
"The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination."